31 May 2009

Scenes from the Obamarama

Staff at Los Angeles International Airport load President Obama’s iqadi, or second wife, on Air Force One. The President, who was in Los Angeles for a fund raiser, “Brought the iqadi along to reward her hard work and excellent support,” said a White House spokesman. (AP Photo/Nick Ut)

24 May 2009

Far out space nuts

Around the time two big balls plopped on Razdolnoye, Kazakhstan, a pair of balls, one larger than the other, were seen dangling in the sky above Tashkent, Uzbekistan. The balls remained in the air for approximately half an hour, then floated off toward the south east. At no time did the globes descend low enough for locals to fondle or attack them. Observers of the balls describe them as having an “extra-ordinary nature”, jealous skeptics who didn’t actually see them insist the balls are mundane (how would they know?).

In other space news, 45 years after the legendary Zambian Space Program failed to launch, Africa may once again be reaching for the stars:
Africans must travel to the moon to investigate what developed nations have been doing in outer space, Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni said Saturday.

“The Americans have gone to the moon. And the Russians. The Chinese and Indians will go there soon. Africans are the only ones who are stuck here,” Museveni said, addressing a meeting of the Uganda Law Society in Entebbe.

“We must also go there and say: ‘What are you people doing up here?’”
I've wondered the same thing myself. Ad astra afronauts!

18 May 2009

In the decade but not of the decade

While I was away Mr. Moldbug wrote:
I refer, of course, to the 1980s. In my opinion, this decade produced exactly one artistic achievement that will stand the test of time: Skinny Puppy. And in letters? Though we may never know why, in the '80s it was easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a camel than for anyone to write a decent book.
Actually three of the finest novels of the 20th century were published in the 1980s: Old Masters by Thomas Bernhard, Loitering with Intent by Muriel Spark, and Time’s Children by Chester Northmour. So even if we don't include Skinny Poopy the 80s are superior to the 90s.

17 May 2009

Sparks falling off them

A pair of balls, huge, warm and mysterious, plummeted from space into a field near the farming village of Razdolnoye in Kazakhstan. A group of eyewitnesses, led by local farmer Viktor Dyakov, descended on the balls and gave them a traditional village welcome: “After they fell and cooled down, we came up to them and tried kicking them…we tried beating them with a chisel, but they didn’t give in, didn’t crease.”

The strange balls are now in the expert hands of the Local Emergency Ministry. Luckily for you, no further information is available at this time.