18 December 2013

Banana Emergency

Scientists warn a putrefying fungus could wipe out the banana industry "in the near future", which reminds me, I should finish the mystery novel I've been writing about Bananas Foster, a mentally unstable private detective whose investigation of the suspicious death of a noted pastry chef exposes a cover-up that goes all the way to the top.

15 December 2013

Scales, Lava, Phases

The future.

Zoologists say crocodiles are smarter than previously thought.

The super volcano beneath Yellowstone is much larger than previously thought.

Scientists believe the risk of the entire universe compressing into a small, hard ball is “even greater than previously thought”. All of sudden those brainy crocs don't seem so bad.

Previous things previously thought.

08 December 2013

Green Satanic Mills

Our depraved government announced wind farms can continue to murder eagles “for up to 30 years, or six times longer than the current permits allow.” Maybe Prius drivers should be allowed to swerve and hit red wolves. Have some burned out light bulbs needing disposal? Feel free to dump them into an unsuspecting humpback whale’s open mouth, as long as the bulbs are ‘eco-friendly’ CFLs.

While wind turbines excel at frappeing birds and visually blighting the landscape, they do nothing to reduce Global Warming. Flying across the country in a jet then causing traffic jams in order to hobnob with billionaires doesn't reduce Global Warming, either, yet it brings no complaints from the environmental hysterics who get upset about someone not recycling a can.

Genius Ideas Are Always Simple

Fun times at Lake Bikal.
Timely and informative Siberian Times article explains how to rescue a car from the bottom of a frozen lake.