In a column about his epic journey from liberal Democrat to liberal Republican, pundit and milquetoast David Brooks reveals he enjoys eating garbage: "So I sit there in my green jacket, happily chewing on a Twizzler that I probably left in a pocket in 1979..."
Disgusting as Brooks habit is, I suspect most establishment pundits of the official press are secretly harboring far grosser vices.
28 July 2010
|Photograph of anomalous big cat roaming field.|
Meanwhile, in Driffield, absolutely nothing continues to happen.
25 July 2010
studying sea lampreys have unlocked the mystery of human stress hormones. Eons ago, when Man was still an Aquatic Ape, disgusting lampreys would cling all over him, drain his blood, then drag him neath the waves. Researchers now believe these attacks caused a lot of stress, so stress hormones were evolved as a countermeasure. While Man eventually gave up being aquatic, fears of being covered in lampreys and dragged neath the waves can still induce anxiety in some beachgoers. Fortunately, Modern Man is able to augment his stress hormones with relaxing cigarettes, though the bureaucrats hate to admit it.