I already cast my ballot absentee
I’ve finally discovered a politician I can enthusiastically support. His name is David Irons, he's running for King County Executor, and while I have no idea (or care, really) what he believes, I greatly admire the fact he once knocked down his mother (from what I’ve heard she had it coming, not that it matters). If there’s one thing we need right now in politics it’s a man who refuses to let anyone block his way, especially bossy old ladies. I hope all those eligible to do so join me in voting for David Irons.