Caught a small scene on my mom's TV

When I was a boy one of my next door neighbors had an enormous afro. I liked to imagine myself hiding in it, because inside my neighbor’s giant afro is the last place anyone would think to look for a missing little boy. I would make lists of supplies to bring with me to the solitude of the afro: some sandwiches, a pint of chocolate milk, Funyuns®, some cans of Green River, a stack of various magazines (Mad) and comic books (Kamandi), a portable black & white TV...

Many have forgotten, and most will never know, but black and white televisions had a certain charm. Our black & white set had the “feature” of a built in radio tuner. My mother hated Hogan’s Heroes, she found it offensive, but (naturally) I loved it, so sometimes when it came on instead of changing the channel my mother would say “Let’s compromise” and turn of the TV’s sound and tune in the broadcast from the local Spanish AM station.

“Pretend it’s Fellini,” she would slur, and pour herself another G&T. I tried, but it never worked. I sometimes think she meant to say “pretend it’s Fellinesque”. That might have worked better. I can tell you that Sgt. Schultz is funny in any language.

Then one day my neighbor shaved his head. At about that same time a family of squirrels started living in the big acorn tree in our side yard. Draw your own conclusions.

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