Brief reviews of Academy Award® nominated films I haven’t seen

Atonement

A comedy about a boy (Keira Knightly) who disguises himself as a girl to infiltrate the stately manor of Lord Snardbollocks and steal the Snardbollocks' family jewels. Hilarity ensues when assorted homosexualists (Englishmen) living at the manor find they’ve ‘inexplicably’ fallen in love with ‘her’.

Juno

I saw the preview to Juno in a theater. Afterwards I got up, went out to the lobby, and started punching people in the face. On principle.

There Will Be Blood

An elegy to our vanished way of life: men dig a hole in the ground, oil spouts out, everyone cheers then goes bowling. Existence had solidity and meaning; work was tangible and rewarding. Today it’s sit in cube, tap-tapitty-tap on keyboard, get yelled at by a lady-boss, then home to play Nintendo Wii or, worse, watch a movie like "Juno". What worms.

Michael Clayton

Dull bio-pic about a Tampa Bay wide receiver who caught 22 passes for 301 yards last season.

10,000 B.C.

A stunning recreation of the world as she was millions of years ago, based on descriptions carved on set of stone tablets discovered in a tar pit. Best picture of the eon.

Comments

  1. That movie about the distant past hasn't come out yet, I believe. But when it does, I will be there!

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  2. It appears I was one of those you struck following your Juno-induced trauma. Having seen the film I now understand, and remain at your service should you need to beat me further.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry to hear you got lured in, Dennis. If you wanted laughs you should've gone to 'Atonement'.

    ReplyDelete

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