Gamya gamana

Was my cynicism premature? A major medical breakthrough in Indonesia could mean we truly can “fix” health care:

A month ago Ponari was hit by lightning, according to his story. When he regained consciousness there was a stone on top of his head [Obviously Ponari wasn’t struck by lightning, he was hit by a meteor – CVC]. He threw it away but the stone came back so he took it home. There he discovered the healing effects of the stone: a neighbour healed of fever after he had touched it, the village head got rid of a bad pain in his arm and the local police officer, a pious Muslim, swears he has seen with his own eyes how Ponari healed a boy who had not spoken a single word for five years.

The news about the miraculous healings spread quickly and people started to flood to the small village of Balongsari, a few hours drive from Surabaya. First dozens, then hundreds, and now there are thousands. They bring cups, bottles and buckets of water in which the boy wonder plunges his stone. This allegedly turns the water into a powerful panacea. Ponari is carried around by his father. He looks tired.

 Poor Ponari. It turns out lots of exciting things have been happening in Indonesia. For instance the sleepy village of Julah recently staged a gamya gamana:

Villagers from Julah in Tejakula, Buleleng, tow[ed] a pregnant cow behind a boat into open sea as part of a local traditional ritual.

The cow, which is five months pregnant, was thrown out to the sea about 3 kilometers from land Monday. The villagers believe the animal was impregnated by a village elder.

During the ritual the man, who was caught red-handed having sexual intercourse with the cow two months ago, joined the boat trip in order to throw away his clothes to to symbolize him discarding his sins.

Julah customary village head Ketut Sidemen said the ritual, called gamya gamana, or freak weeding, and had been conducted there for generations. The decision to perform the ritual was made a local residents meeting.

In line with customary regulations, the perpetrator, identified only as PS, 70, was sanctioned to fund the expensive ceremony, which aimed to cleanse him of any bad influences.

In certain parts of the vasty wilds, where humidity is favorable and necessity is dire, human/bovine mating happens all the time. See this report from Zambia:

A cow in Mazabuka in Southern Province has given birth to a half human being and half calf at Village 7 in Chief Mwanachingwala’s area, sending fears among villagers...The half-human-half -cow has all the features of a human being and part of the chest and the other half is that of a calf although there was a slight difference on eyes as the creature had one eye of a human being and another of a calf.

Chief Mwanachingwala, who confirmed the development to ZANIS in Mazabuka today said, the human-cow has since been buried by the owner, Mr Minister Hakaloma.

Remember the Murderous Cow of Nigeria? That evil beast stalked, then strangled its victims. Authorities were, understandably, baffled. How could a cow do such a thing? Besides, everyone knows cows are lovers, not fighters.

A cow couldn’t, of course. But a human-cow hybrid certainly could. We can’t say the mystery of the Murdering Cow has been solved, but we now have a prime suspect.