I do not drop litter, my dog is not exercised in an irresponsible manner and I always clean up after him and dispose of the waste correctly.Her writing another town's newspaper insisting she isn’t guilty of such a specific list of crimes causes me to think she‘s done all those things. It may even be that she’s done something truly monstrous and is therefore spontaneously confessing her litany of lesser offenses as a form of compensation. Copies of this entry have been forwarded to the Withernsea Police and Scotland Yard.
I do not get drunk and urinate or vomit in your streets nor do I spray graffiti or vandalise your beautiful old buildings.
I do not drive carelessly or too fast and I certainly do not park where I should not, I pay the parking fees in the car parks.
I do not bring my old fridges, mattresses or other household waste and fly tip it all over the national park...
In related news, the town of Whitby is finally taking steps to control its goth infestation.