08 December 2013

Green Satanic Mills

Our depraved government announced wind farms can continue to murder eagles “for up to 30 years, or six times longer than the current permits allow.” Maybe Prius drivers should be allowed to swerve and hit red wolves. Have some burned out light bulbs needing disposal? Feel free to dump them into an unsuspecting humpback whale’s open mouth, as long as the bulbs are ‘eco-friendly’ CFLs.

While wind turbines excel at frappeing birds and visually blighting the landscape, they do nothing to reduce Global Warming. Flying across the country in a jet then causing traffic jams in order to hobnob with billionaires doesn't reduce Global Warming, either, yet it brings no complaints from the environmental hysterics who get upset about someone not recycling a can.

8 comments:

  1. I eagerly await widespread adoption of the Greenspeak Oneupmanship command to "Precycle"

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    1. Either I have never hear that term before or I have been deliberately ignoring those telling me to precycle.

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  2. Precycling is avoiding the purchase of goods packaged in ... well, just avoiding the purchase of anything in packaging.

    Personally, I always decycle (whatever that means).

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  3. The word "pericycle" is already taken, which is a shame.

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    1. I tend to forget how complicated some people insist on plants being.

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  4. Wind Watch more persuasively argued that it wasn't worth the cost, rather than that it wouldn't help at all. There was pretty much no argument for the latter proposition. There's also something unsettling about them referring to themselves in the third-person in their press releases. Or perhaps it's the press release announcing that they are saying something, when the mere existence of the release is enough to convey that message.

    I think you should only murder an eagle if it possesses incriminating information about you, your spouse had an affair with it, it is a professional rival, or you stand to inherit a good deal of money. You can also give it a good thrashing if it insulted you, but simply refusing to let-up swinging your giant arms while it's passing through is rather vulgar.

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    1. One more thing about eagles: they may seem all noble & majestic, but I think Ben Franklin had their number.

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    2. I would have gone with a Sasquatch riding on the back of a buffalo.

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