22 July 2013

News You Missed


Chinese horse cavalry invaded and occupied India for two days.

A tribe of Rastafarian pygmies were observed in Indonesia:
“A number of rangers claim the pygmies grow their dreadlocks down to their waist. The first sighting by the rangers was on March 17 at 6:40 p.m. local time,” said TNWK [The Way Kambas National Park] spokesman Sukatmoko.
He added that several rangers patrolling the park claimed the pygmies were seen moving to the PT Nusantara Tropical Fruit (NTF) plantation. They were seen running from the TNWK forest to the plantation.

“Apparently, many fruit trees, such as banana, guava and dragon fruit, are grown in the NTF plantation area. If the pygmies like fruit, they might have entered the plantation for food,” said Sukatmoko.
And if they don't like fruit, what then?

The Old Town Show vegetables results.

07 July 2013

Maybe Someday


After carefully studying the pufferfish, a group of unnamed scientists concluded humans “may eventually” evolve beaks. I think humans may eventually evolve elephant-like proboscides, allowing continuous snacking from the fast food bag while eyes and fingers are occupied by screens and buttons. Admittedly, I can’t back up my theory with any sort of aquatic animal.