14 April 2015

April News Orts


Who was it who said the definition of serendipity is shooting an armadillo and having the bullet ricochet and hit your mother-in-law? Because that happened in Georgia.

It’s been almost a year and the grills are still missing. #BringBackOurGrills.

A half-human, half-chimp humanzee was created in a Nigerian laboratory, reports Humphrey Nakonde. The creature talks and, sadly, has already contracted AIDS.

There are so many wonderful things being invented in Siberia right now, from the practical (a car that runs on pine cones, moose turds and old socks) to the visionary (a kindergarten shaped like a giant cheese that will inspire children to be cheesemakers when they grow up (there may be something to this - I went to a kindergarten shaped like a giant blog)).

5 comments:

  1. I was sorry to see that the Armadillo wasn't quite so lucky. I've always had a fondness for Armadillos ever since I saw them in Dracula (1931)

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    1. Adding armadillos would improve many films. Imagine how much better your typical buddy cop picture would be if one of the cops is an armadillo, or how much better the Star Wars movies would be if, instead of a robot, R2D2 were an armadillo.

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  2. Speaking of armadillos, it is interesting to note how much the pink fairy armadillo resembles Donald Trump.

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    1. Uncanny. Are pink fairy armadillos real, or is some Third World factory manufacturing them out of voles? Their backs look glued on.

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  3. As Donald Trump is, alas, real - and much of him is evidently "glued on" - we can only assume the pink fairy armadillo is also real despite its pantomimic appearance.

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