I didn't say they were funny I said they were old

Some really old jokes - 5th Century AD old, from the Philogelos:

57. An intellectual got a slave pregnant. At the birth, his father suggested that the child be killed. The intellectual replied: "First murder your own children and then tell me to kill mine."

#227B. While an intellectual was imbibing in a tavern, someone approached and told him: "Your wife is dead." The intellectual said: "Time, my good man, to mix me some dark wine

#247B. While a misogynist was paying his last respects to his wife, someone asked him: "Who has gone to rest?" He replied: "Me, now that I'm alone."

#248A. A misogynist was sick, at death's door. When his wife said to him, "If anything bad happens to you, I'll hang myself," he looked up at her and said: "Do me the favor while I'm still alive."

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