A new book by someone named Ed Klein reports that Chelsea Clinton was conceived as the result of the rape of Hillary Clinton by Bill Clinton.
This is a dubious claim to those of us who are ‘insiders’, for it is widely known (but little reported) that Hillary Clinton has a penis. In fact one of my left-wing college chums (a reliable fellow except for his politics) who briefly worked in the Clinton White House had to suffer the trauma of an aroused Hillary Clinton exposing her penis in front of him (a family habit, it seems).
Though it occurs to me that there is a way to reconcile the allegations of Ed Klein with the incident described by my friend: perhaps Hillary has male and female genitalia? This form of deviancy has become quite popular in recent years, so much so that the practice has spread to the animal kingdom. See, for instance, this perverted crab some fisherman recently caught, which is half male and half female, or, to use the scientific term, a 'bilateral gynandromorph'. Scientists hope to study the rare creature. The crab has also been invited to march with a group of transgender activists at an upcoming Maryland ‘Gay Pride’ event.