News of this World

Worrisome news from West Bengal, India, where a “modern day Buddha” is “acting like Hitler with his gang of thugs”, and nothing is being done to stop it. This tragic situation calls to mind the recent orations of none other than Barry Obama, who said: “We cannot hope to shape a world where opportunity outweighs danger unless we ensure that every child, everywhere, is taught to build and not to destroy.” It should be obvious to everyone by now that today’s untaught child is tomorrow’s Hitlerian modern day Buddha. Note too there’s no midnight basketball in West Bengal, which can hardly be a coincidence.

Good news from Guyana: in the tiny village of Bare Root a rare type of vampire known as an Ole Higue was beaten to death “with mythical objects” (whatever those are) before it could suck anyone’s blood. As lazy Caribbean Net News Guyana Correspondent B. Gordon French explains, an Ole Higue “lives during the day among other villagers, but at night this seemingly harmless old woman removes her skin, places it gently in a calabash and travel across the sky as a ball of fire heading to the home of her intended victim. To enter the home she shrinks herself and enters through the keyhole.” It should be obvious to everyone by now that we cannot hope to shape a world where opportunity outweighs danger unless we ensure that every child, everywhere, is taught to recognize all kinds of vampires and to destroy them. I don’t think there’s any midnight basketball in Guyana, either. Will we ever learn?

Comments

  1. This Ole Higue sounds frighteningly like my mother-in-law! She also seems harmless until she removes her skin and travels to my home.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, you know what to do.

    I had to look up what a calabash is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The main reason that I don't want B. Hussein Obama to become president is that I might go to jail for the things I've written about him. Also, he may be a machine that randomly blurts out cliches.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One is an esoteric Straussian, the other went to Yale