Pili Mara II

Was a cow really attacked by a carnivorous tree in Padrame (or Patrame), India?1 Skeptics have repeatedly pointed out how unlikely it is a tree, which after all only has slender branches to strike with, would attack prey as large as a cow. Birds, rodents, or other small game perhaps, but a cow, the skeptics argued, would be too bulky, and honest cryptobotanists conceded they had a point.

But now, thanks to the fieldwork of intrepid reporter Melka Miyar, we have more details on the case, including a photograph of the injured bovine, a photo which changes everything. Everyone assumed the animal in question was a big fat Texas-style cow, the kind white men turn into delicious steaks and hamburgers. In reality it was a tiny jungle cow, roughly the size of a large dog, the kind men who wear towels around their waists instead of pants worship as a god. The tallest of pili maras wouldn’t dare attack the former, but even a small pili mara would have a no problem taking a bite out of the latter.

Miyar’s report also features photographs of the pili mara’s stump, eyewitness statements, and identifies the hero who chopped the hungry tree down as a local man named Vasanna.

1That Pili Mara post is far and away my most popular ever, which shows you never know.

Comments

  1. It's too bad these plants bovine attacks are apparently limited to the miniature variety, else there might have been a lucrative export market for them in - yes - whitby.

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  2. Wayward seems an overly polite way to describe that cow. Notice how everything ultimately ties into Whitby, because Whitby is like a black hole, slowly pulling in and destroying all that surrounds it.

    I've written about deviant cows before (How many people can say that? Or want to?): Lal, the chicken killing cow, and (arguably my favorite news story of all time)the mysterious Nigerian cow which emerged from no where to strangle a woman before melting back into the jungle. From what I can tell this cow remains at large.

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  3. what is the fit of the tallest cow in nigeria

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