29 October 2007

Pili Mara II

Was a cow really attacked by a carnivorous tree in Padrame (or Patrame), India?1 Skeptics have repeatedly pointed out how unlikely it is a tree, which after all only has slender branches to strike with, would attack prey as large as a cow. Birds, rodents, or other small game perhaps, but a cow, the skeptics argued, would be too bulky, and honest cryptobotanists conceded they had a point.

But now, thanks to the fieldwork of intrepid reporter Melka Miyar, we have more details on the case, including a photograph of the injured bovine, a photo which changes everything. Everyone assumed the animal in question was a big fat Texas-style cow, the kind white men turn into delicious steaks and hamburgers. In reality it was a tiny jungle cow, roughly the size of a large dog, the kind men who wear towels around their waists instead of pants worship as a god. The tallest of pili maras wouldn’t dare attack the former, but even a small pili mara would have a no problem taking a bite out of the latter.

Miyar’s report also features photographs of the pili mara’s stump, eyewitness statements, and identifies the hero who chopped the hungry tree down as a local man named Vasanna.

1That Pili Mara post is far and away my most popular ever, which shows you never know.

3 comments:

  1. It's too bad these plants bovine attacks are apparently limited to the miniature variety, else there might have been a lucrative export market for them in - yes - whitby.

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  2. Wayward seems an overly polite way to describe that cow. Notice how everything ultimately ties into Whitby, because Whitby is like a black hole, slowly pulling in and destroying all that surrounds it.

    I've written about deviant cows before (How many people can say that? Or want to?): Lal, the chicken killing cow, and (arguably my favorite news story of all time)the mysterious Nigerian cow which emerged from no where to strangle a woman before melting back into the jungle. From what I can tell this cow remains at large.

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  3. what is the fit of the tallest cow in nigeria

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