06 September 2008

Cuckoo in cuckoo clock land

Newly enacted animal rights laws in Switzerland make it illegal to flush live goldfish down the toilet, and from now on an unwanted or terminally ill fish “must be first knocked out and then killed before its body can be disposed of.”

While the laws say how a fish shouldn't be killed, they don't say how a fish should be killed, leaving thousands of Swiss fish fanciers confused and unsure about legally handling their pets end of life issues. In my opinion the ‘cleanest’ and most efficient method is to dispatch the fish with a bullet to the back of its head. Fortunately, a Swiss company manufactures a firearm ideally suited for the task.

4 comments:

  1. How do you make these connections? Did you first come upon the tiny gun made in Switzerland then went off in search of a suitable target? Or did you first read about the ban on flushing fish down the toilet and then hunted down a site for a suitably sized firearm manufactured in Switzerland? Or is it a trade secret?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I read the animal rights story and the quote above made me laugh. Imagining various ways to humanely knock out or kill a goldfish (garrotte made of thread? Tiny toy hammer?) triggered (sorry) a memory of the minature revolver, which was in the news a while back. I didn't recall the gun being made in Switzerland until I looked it up again, I'm guessing the Swiss connection is why my brain remembered it.

    In the past I've had items, though I can't remember which ones at the moment, where odd thoughts occured to me, then using the power of google searched up actual events which fit the concept. Another trick is to leverage one amusing story by finding multiple examples of it (Oldie Crime Wave!).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Interesting. Well, your secret's safe with me - my mental database has far too inflexible a design to pull that off.

    ReplyDelete
  4. In case anyone should run across this entry looking for goldfish euthanasia tips, I can report that a suggestion we encountered on the Interweb actually worked quite well: submerge Goldy in a small vessel of high-proof vodka. The alcohol will completely anesthetize the fish so that it feels no pain during its fairly quick death from alcohol poisoning and/or asphyxiation. (We did not idly test this: the subject had contracted an incurable and painful fish disease of some kind.)

    ReplyDelete