Over the Pacific

En route to Japan on a long flight across the Pacific, my thoughts turn to England. It is no secret England has suffered a widespread decline in manners. Even British ghosts have become boors: one of the UK’s leading newspapers reports on a spectral presence dubbed the ‘Phantom Bumpincher’ for the lewd manner of his hauntings. This is sad, only a few generations ago even the rudest English ghosts never did anything worse than a little moaning and chain clanking . It’s not just England haunted by a Phantom Bumpincher, but my plane as well, or so I tell the cute stewardess who is now glaring at me and refusing to serve me any more drinks.

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