Togo a-Go-Go

I haven’t been able to meet Faure Gnassingbe yet, as the President’s palace is (sensibly) surrounded by armed guards to prevent ‘protestors’ from causing trouble. Some are complaining that Faure taking over is ‘dynastic’. When did ‘dynastic’ become a slur? Besides being the son of a president (the most popular president in Togo's history), Faure has an MBA from George Washington University. These parallels with America's leader have inspired me to start calling him The Black Bush. Those complaining include Kofi Annan, probably only because he's still angry about the time Gassy mailed him a hunchback’s hump as a practical joke. But it’s a touching story really - out of all of Gassy’s enormous number of children, Faure The Black Bush is the only one to follow him into politics. Those trying to stand in the way of this dream should be ashamed of themselves.

Meanwhile I’ve been entertaining myself with the local sights. There’s marvelous shopping here in Lome, as long as what you’re shopping for is animal skulls. Local stores stock a wide variety of shapes and sizes. I bought a mixed sack full, mostly monkey and bird (I hope those are monkey skulls). While I’m skeptical of Voodoo (really, if it actually worked wouldn’t Togo be slightly less...Togoesque?) I still paid some witch doctors to curse a few of my enemies, just in case. So if voodoo is real, all of my ex-girlfriends will wake up tomorrow with a strange pubic rash (or in the case of the ones with pre-existing conditions, a stranger pubic rash).

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