Nothing enlivens an arctic winter quite like an obese elephant
Apparently not content with the vast abundance of native wildlife (fish, grizzly bears, whales, Eskimos, etc.) in their state, the silly people of Alaska have imported a a 23-year-old female African elephant named Maggie to gawk at. Naturally, the elephant finds the frozen climate disagreeable. Worse, Alaskans are forcing the poor pachyderm to work out on a gigantic treadmill, because they have decided the unhappy elephant is fat. Which she is, of course, because all elephants are fat. I wonder if the Alaskans will figure this out before the exercise and diet regime they've imposed manages to kill her?