Old News

You’ve all heard by now how boring billionaires Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are donating enormous sums to the wretched of Africa (at times I suspect God’s reason for creating Africa was to provide wealthy white people with something to be charitable toward, then I remember I’m completely lacking in any sort of religious belief). You have all probably also imagined how you would spend such amounts of money differently. I think if I had billions, for my first act of charity I would have made a giant statue of myself, out of solid gold, and anyone who wished could gaze upon it for free. Because charity is a dish best served cold, for my second act of charity I would buy everyone in Africa an ice cream cone.

In a post you probably already read, but should read if you didn't, titled Double or nada on the highjump, the always entertaining Sixteen Volts mentioned my favorite tennis player of all time: Karsten Braasch, who is known for easily beating both Williams sisters at a time when he was ranked 203 in the world, but I remember him for the fact he would enjoy a cigarette between sets until the bastards who run tennis enacted a no-smoking rule to put a stop to him. When I build a Smokers Hall of Fame (after buying the Africans an ice cream cone, I guess) he will have a prominent place in the ‘Sport and Leisure’ wing.

That same item mentions Bobby Riggs, who lost a tennis match to a 29 year old woman when he was 55 years old, something feminists, and only feminists, find notable. Truly notable is the time Riggs played a game of ping-pong with Amarillo Slim, for $10,000, using frying pans as paddles. Riggs was a tennis hustler, something I don’t think exists anymore.

Elsewhere: I found this blog about a Parisian midget via my referrer logs, and while I am unable to read French, I find it tremendously amusing.

Free giveaway: New catchphrase. Use to impress friends, co-workers, bartenders, exotic dancers, etc.

“Bill got a raise, but it’s not like he’s getting Nene money.”

“A million here, a million there, and pretty soon you’re talking Nene money.”

“A stole your honey cause I got Nene money.”

“Bring lawyers, guns, and Nene money.”

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