Expect delays from snow and ice

Some nights he could hardly sleep imagining how wondrous it would be. Seeds, all kinds of seeds in glass cases! Tractors! An entire wing of antique farm implements! A stuffed cow! And it could all be his, he was so close! If only it weren’t for that stubborn old bastard, refusing to let go...

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On Tuesday US District Judge James Robertson ruled US currency unfairly discriminates against the blind as all American bills are the same size so the sightless can’t tell the different denominations apart. He’s given the Treasury 10 days to start working on the problem.

Replacing existing currency with new notes of different sizes would be considerably expensive, not only for the Treasury but for industry (think of all the vending machines, ATM’s, etc., that would require retooling). A cheaper solution would be to keep bills the same size but print them using scented inks: Ones could smell like cabbage, fives like strawberry, ten-spots like cheddar, twenties like roast beef, hundreds like butterscotch...

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"Pause a while and recall in the last four years how many wedding ceremonies you have attended and not noticed the bride being pregnant."

Comments

  1. Smells aren't absolutely necessary, and they would probably fade. Textures I think are a better solution.

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