What beast? Why, an otter

Two weeks after she went missing, the corpse of a Florida woman was discovered “wedged upside-down behind a bookshelf in her room in her family's home.” Apparently she’d been there all along, getting stuck while trying to “fiddle with a television set's plug at an outlet behind the bookshelf. Police said they suspect [she] was unable to breathe in the position and suffocated.”

After reading of this bizarre tragedy I felt compelled to check behind my own bookshelves for dead bodies. Thankfully I found none, though I did find some sea otter carcasses, which I intend to mail to the editors of Cat Fancy magazine with a note reading “Murderers.”

Elsewhere: The Chadian army has retaken Abeche.

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