Can I walk you home tonight?

Racial “progress” is everywhere one looks. For the first time ever, both coaches in the Superbowl are black, I'm told an Hispanic and a black are running for president, and in Puerto Rico a Mocha Vampire has been sighted. From Count Dracula to Nosferatu to Keith Richards, vampirism has been a lily-white field, but in 1972 Blacula shattered the vampiric color barrier.¹ Unfortunately, after that the trend toward greater diversity seemed to stall - until now:

"[T]he Moca Vampire had its own agenda. On March 18, 1975, two goats belonging to Hector Vega, a resident of Moca’s Barrio Pueblo, were found drained of blood. Puncture marks on the goats’ necks were the unmistakable sign that the strange entity causing the deaths was still at large and hungrier than ever: it returned to Vega’s farm the following night to finish off ten more goats and wound another seven. The horrified farmer also discovered that ten additional goats had gone missing."

¹There is considerable confusion regarding Count Chocula’s ancestry, I’m of the opinon he’s a swarthy Mediterranean.