09 January 2007

For iDipt into the future, far as human eye could see

I saw footage of the Steve Jobs Apple iPhone demo, and it was shown one of the things you can do with iPhone is upload photos to it, then by touching the screen make them larger and smaller. Am I the only one reminded of the moon landing? Larger, smaller – by touching the screen. I'm thinking of how stout Cortez must have felt on that mountaintop. Larger. Smaller. By touching the screen.

The gizmo is causing excitement around the globe. Across Dificult Country foreign correspondent Ismail Mat Taib enthused:
“I thought this may be back engineered from mysterious technology developed by the ancient Atlanteans before that great kingdom submerged unnaturally to the bottom of the sea,” said villager Taib, who had been herding cattle near the beach. “Larger, smaller, by touching the screen? Holy crap, are you kidding me?”
Obese teen Shauna Gerow paused between bites to observe, “It’s almost something to do rather than eat. Almost.”

Oddly named Madagascar wildlife researchers Félix Rakotondraparany and Amyot Kofoky were impressed:
“You could upload a picture of a sucker bat on it,” said Rakotondraparany, “then make it larger and smaller, by touching the screen.” Added Kofoky, “You could even put a picture of a sucker bat being gently cradled in the arms of your friend Steven M. Goodman on it. Then you could make it larger, smaller – just by touching the screen.”
Not to take anything away from Prometheus, but Prometheus is history, and the future (larger) is now (smaller), and it is beyond our wildest dreams (by touching a screen).

UPDATE: There is no Apple iPhone.

8 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your coup in signing on your new correspondent. He seems much more reliable (and consistent!) than the more mercurial Professor Morangie, if perhaps a little less stylish.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious post. Remember also to credit Mr. Jobs with the invention of the mouse and Apple board member Al Gore with invention of the Internet. The Brain Trust is alive and well!

    I'm so excited I tried to make your post bigger--just by touching the screen! But it didn't work, I am viewing this on a 20" NEC monitor and therefore am a total loser.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Zeil: Taib has the soul of a poet.

    Udolpho: Ha! It goes without saying the audience cheered. Now if Jobs had done the demo while rolling around on a Segway...but it's easier to talk about the future than live it, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Apparently it doesn't allow third-party programs on it. You're locked into whatever Apple wants you to have. Even my 8-year old Palm allows my to install programs.

    ReplyDelete
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