Save the babies

Newsweek reports white babies as young as 6 months are racists. I can’t say I’m surprised, I’ve always found the character of babies suspect. Selfish, prone to rage, lacking any concept of law or morality, and there is no way all the inappropriate crapping is accidental.

To prevent me from being a baby bigot, on the rare occasions my parents visited me in the nursery they wore blackface. This continued into early childhood, up until they stopped having anything to do with me altogether. They also had my black nanny disguise herself as a Chinaman, and on weekends forced the Mexican gardener dress up as an Hasidic Jew.

Exposure to such an innovative program of conditioning might explain my scores on implicit association tests (I haven't the slightest taint of unconscious bias), as well as my love of minstrelsy.

In other exciting baby news, a faun was born in Zimbabwe
The community of Lower Gweru and its surroundings in the Midlands Province was left shell-shocked when a goat gave birth to human-like creature that had the combined features of a man and a goat..

The creature had a human head, face, nose, shoulders and human-like skin that had very scanty furs.

It had goat features from the “shoulders” to the legs...

Midlands Governor and Resident Minister Jason Machaya, police and the media visited Maboleni area to have first-hand information.

Governor Machaya said it was disgracing that a man can stoop so low opting for animal company in a world full of women.

“This incident is very shocking. It is my first time to see such an evil thing. It is really embarrassing. The head belongs to a man while the body is that of a goat. This is evident that an adult human being was responsible. Evil powers caused this person to lose self control,” he said.

“We often hear cases of human beings who commit bestiality but this is the first time* for such an act to produce a product with human features.”
*In March a half human - half cow was born in Mazabuka, Zambia.

Comments

  1. Have you read the New York Post lately?

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  2. No. I mostly read newspapers from Third World countries. Did I miss something?

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  3. I don't know, I don't read The New York Post either.

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  4. As with American newspapers, there have been a lot of cutbacks in the foreign press as well. The Tide News of Nigeria no longer features the terrific columnist Small Talks, for example.

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  5. The weekly newspaper I used to publish in Vergennes, Vermont in the '80's has gone out of existence.

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  6. Racist babies? From nature/nurture to nature/fuhrer in one fell swoop.

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  7. It would be interesting to see how babies react to pictures of fauns, and vice-versa.

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  8. Sometimes the best-looking females available when the bar closes are goats.

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  9. Both those talking babies on those E-Trade commercials are clearly racist. And they enjoy it. It is a lesson for adults. It's evolution.

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  10. After my baby got shots from his black lady pediatrician at 2, 4, and 6 months, he started crying in terror when he saw a black lady on the bus. My wife tried to explain to the black lady on the bus that it was because her baby's doctor was a black lady, but the black lady on the bus said, "I'd never go to a black doctor."

    So there didn't seem to be much left to say.

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  11. What is that supposed to illustrate?

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  12. Steve Sailer's anecdote illustrates the universal principle that vacinations cause racism. So avoid vacinations and Protect your Precious Bodily Fluids.

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  13. The article is stupid. Babies can't be racist because they don't have power in our society.

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  14. Riding the bus makes me cry, too.

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  15. Mild Colonial Boy, do you know if Steve Sailor reads the New York Post? Is that where he gets his statistics? (I know where he gets his opinions.)

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  16. I have a great idea for a business. I'll sell yellow diamond-shaped signs for car windows that say:

    "Racist on Board"

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