12 September 2010

Hot Snakes


A snake sabotaged electrical transmission lines in the Philippines, blacking out power to the entire province of Bohol. At this time the snake’s motives remain undetermined.

In California, a snake and his teenaged accomplice robbed a Walgreen’s in broad daylight; the pair then escaped on a “baby blue BMX bike”.

Alki Family Fun Day in West Seattle was almost spoiled after an 11-foot albino python attacked a fat woman. At this time who ended up eating whom remains undetermined.

In Melbourne, Australia, a 5-foot long python was spotted lurking outside of a McDonald’s. The python, named Boris, was quickly wrestled into submission by a pair of concerned citizens before he could attack any fat women, rob the McDonald's, or sabotage any power lines.

Whether or not we are on the verge of some sort of snake crisis remains undetermined.

8 comments:

  1. You took some blogging license with that third story. Or, as they say, a picture says more than a thousand words from a forked tongue.

    In other news unrelated to snakes of any species:

    The Liberace museum in (where else) Las Vegas is closing.

    I didn't know one existed, and yet somehow I miss it already.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The world becomes slightly less fabulous.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In July Whitby issued an "adder warning" after an unprecedented four dogs were bitten in one weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unfortunately Whitby has also removed it's Whack-A-Crock game/training exercise. Expect the return of the serpent as people grow fat and complacent.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the link. I find it hard to believe a journalist, even a second rate one, could visit Whitby and remain oblivious to the sinister goings-on. In all likelihood the happy memories of his visit were implanted.

    In the USA we don't have Whack-A-Croc, we have Whack-A-Mole.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I assume that difference is the result of a child trying to whack a real croc and being eaten, and the parent subsequently suing the manufacturer for leading children to believe that a soft mallet was sufficient to deter them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your remark made me wonder which came first, A-Croc or A-Mole. It turns out the game was invented by the company who also invented this.

    ReplyDelete