Thanks a million, Vermillion

I read in the news that:

America's second biggest bank, JP Morgan Chase, has made a rare apology for its subsidiaries' involvement in the slave trade 200 years ago, admitting that it accepted slaves as loan collateral and ended up owning several hundred.

In the spirit of atonement exemplified by JP Morgan Chase, I would like to apologize to the descendants of anyone who may have suffered a raping or a pillaging at the hands of one of my Viking ancestors. I feel terrible about it. Or I did, before apologizing. Now I feel terrific.

I will not, however, apologize to the proprietors or any of the employees of the Super 8 Motel on East Cherry Street in Vermillion, SD, who maliciously claim I caused a variety of incidents during the brief time I stayed there. My policy is that anyone who voluntarily accepts my money in exchange for drinks deserves whatever ensues. Luckily, I discovered the delightful Comfort Inn. I enjoyed my stay there immensely, and if I ever come back I will pay them for the television I destroyed.

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