Imaginary Conversations with Michael Bolton

[All statements by Michael Bolton are real and courtesy of Virgin Records]

C. Van Carter: What advice would you give to someone purchasing your new album, Bolton Swings Sinatra?

Michael Bolton: You're really setting yourself up for disappointment.

CVC: If you were singing a song, and in the middle of the song someone pinched your balls with a pair of pliers, would the song sound any different?

MB: It's a question that I've asked myself a few times.

CVC: Because I’m convinced the song would sound exactly the same.

MB: I'd have tears running from my eyes.

CVC: Deservedly so.

MB: But I love that!

CVC: Would it be fair to describe you as the King of Crap?

MB: That's my domain.

CVC: And you don’t feel any guilt for inflicting your awful songs on the public?

MB: I just feel like the best I can do is step up to the microphone

CVC: Is the song Can I Touch You...There? about fisting accidentally, or on purpose?

MB: I don't know WHAT that is, but I love that!

CVC: Agree or disagree: Your joining forces with Kenny G to record an album is not unlike the Hitler-Stalin pact?

MB: I think that's how it winds up.

CVC: Is that a carpet sample on your head?

MB: Thank you!

CVC: Thank you.

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