The Black Blob of Sandsend

A creature eyewitnesses describe as a 4ft tall black blob resembling a bean bag chair has been frightening the innocent people of Sandsend:

"The dog spotted it and went racing up to see it off so it was obvious by her natural chasing instinct that this was some wild animal.

"As she approached it the odd thing was that there was no scuffle or running involved. The black thing seemed to glide sidewards very gracefully and quietly like a ghost into the grass. "The dog then ran up through the hedge and she gave a yelp."

I suspect the “creature” was actually one of those morbidly obese pre-teens so ubiquitous these days, but I will continue to keep an eye on this story as there’s a remote possibility it might lead to some sort of cryptozoological breakthrough.

In other news, Indonesian Islamofascists have opened a new front in the ongoing Jihad by launching a series of attacks against a banyan tree. Apparently the 100 year old tree possesses mystical powers, something the Musselmen find intolerable. Though slightly damaged, so far the tree appears to be winning.