More terrible crime news
Mundo Hispano Bilingual reports a drunken Polack was forcibly caressing a woman about the head and ears with a sausage when it inexplicably burst into flame. This startled the miscreant and he fled on a bicycle.
A police spokesman said: "Witnesses said the Polack was definitely using a sausage. Earlier reports a Parmo was involved were mistaken. We do not know how it happened..."The victim said she was frightened at what the Polack might do next, while admitting she was also somewhat aroused. As a precautionary measure she was taken to a hospital to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases.