Across Difficult Country

John Donne on climate change : As the world is the whole frame of the world, God hath put into it a reproof, a rebuke, lest it should seem eternal, which is, a sensible decay and age in the whole frame of the world, and every piece thereof. The seasons of the year irregular and distempered; the sun fainter, and languishing; men less in stature, and shorter-lived. No addition, but only every year, new sorts, new species of worms, and flies, and sicknesses, which argue more and more putrefaction of which they are engendered. And the angels of heaven, which did so familiarly converse with men in the beginning of the world, though they may not be doubted to perform to us still their ministerial assistances, yet they seem so far to have deserted this world, as that they do not appear to us, as they did to those our fathers. Julian the Apostate on racial differences and their consequences: Come, tell me why it is that the Celts and the Germans are fierce, while the Hellenes and Romans are,...

From the Australian outback comes the gruesome story of a woman killed by her own pet camel : “The 10-month-old animal knocked the woman, 60, to the ground, stomped on her head and then lay on top of her.” A policeman on the scene, Sen-Constable Gregory, reports the camel had a history of odd behavior: “It had a bit of a habit with a goat, knocking it over and sort of straddling it and laying on top of it.” There’s little to be said after such a tragedy, which didn’t stop local “camel expert” Paddy McHugh from weighing in: Townsville-based camel expert Paddy McHugh said the behaviour was “extremely unusual” for a camel so young. “That’s a characteristic of a camel out of control,” he said. Mr. McHugh said camels still made great pets, “often better than dogs”. Yes, except for being six feet tall and weighing over a thousand pounds and occasionally stomping your head in because they are acting out some psycho-sexual urge, camels are much better pets than dogs. Why must animal experts al...

“The Hand of Glory is the hand of a man who has been hung, and is prepared in the following manner. Wrap the hand in a piece of winding sheet, drawing it tight so as to squeeze out the little blood which, may remain; then place it in an earthenware vessel with saltpetre, salt, and long pepper, all carefully and thoroughly powdered. Let it remain a fortnight in this pickle till it is well dried, then expose it to the sun in the dog-days till it is completely parched, or, if the sun be not powerful enough, dry it in an oven heated with vervain and fern. Next make a candle with the fat of a hung man, virgin wax, and Lapland sesame. The Hand of Glory is used to hold this candle when it is lighted. Wherever one goes with this contrivance, those it approaches are rendered incapable of motion as though they were dead.” – Notes on the Folk-Lore of the Northern Counties of England and the Borders , by William Henderson . It’s also believed those knowledgeable in the arcane arts can use a Hand ...

Mass immigration makes the United States increasingly “diverse”. Now Daniel Henninger, a member of the open borderist Wall Street Journal editorial collective and a supporter of mass immigration, has discovered : “People in ethnically diverse settings don't want to have much of anything to do with each other. “Social capital” erodes. Diversity has a downside.” What’s to be done? Henninger suggests: “What's needed now is for a younger black, brown or polka-dot writer to recast the idea in a way that restores the worth and utility of assimilation. Somebody had better do it soon; the first chart offered in the Putnam study depicts inexorably rising rates of immigration in many nations.” He recognizes we are already at the point where certain arguments won’t be fairly heard unless advanced by non-whites (notice the absurd inclusion of a “polka-dot writer”, done to maintain the pretense race never matters, even when it’s being argued race matters). He recognizes the situation is on...

Gildercliffe hoodlums are stealing vans then using them to launch attacks on Whitby : Reckless Ben Stanley, 18, of Gildercliffe, Scarborough, became intoxicated at a friend’s birthday bash before setting off to steal a Vauxhall van. Despite being more than twice over the limit, Stanley – who does not have a full driving licence - then embarked on a terrifying drive all the way to Whitby, regardless of the dangers to other drivers and residents. He smashed into two parked cars and a wall in the Bog Hall area of the town. Not to condone Reckless Ben Stanley’s senseless mayhem, to a certain degree Whitby has it coming. In other crime news, a three-ton meteorite has been stolen from UFO researcher Yury Lavbin’s compound in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia. Perhaps the meteorite is a large enough object that remote viewers could locate it? They’ve certainly had no luck identifying the small curio which sits on the left corner of the shelf above my desk, despite the offer of a $1 million prize for do...

In Cameroon urine drinking is suddenly so popular Cameroonian health minister Urbain Olanguena Awono was forced to issue a statement urging quaffers to stop, warning those promoting the practice may be prosecuted. Said a piss drinker named Emile: "I used it to treat my haemorrhoids. Everyone uses it in secret. But you need to be brave." Though rarely mentioned in the history books, Gandhi was an aficionado of the ‘yellow wine’, and in his younger days became known for badgering unwitting guests at parties with his odd notions, diaper clad, glass of pee-pee in hand. Soon Gandhi stopped getting invited to parties. Instead of changing his ways, he became angry, and channeled his resentment into politics. I think you know how that turned out. If you thought Nigeria had more than enough unpleasant worms already you obviously don’t think like God, because a new ‘ mystery worm ’ is invading Nigeria’s Sokoto State. The worms, named Ba Susa , which means ‘no scratching’, infest the ...

...posting should resume next week.

A pair of homosexualists is sending John Lennon’s piano on a tour of America’s “most horrific sites of violence, death and destruction.” Places the piano has already appeared include Virginia Tech, Ford’s Theater, Columbine High School, and the site of the Oklahoma City bombing. It’s hoped the sight of the piano can displace painful thoughts of these location's terrible events by triggering in observers memories of the ‘Imagine’ song. Personally, I’d rather contemplate an assassination or a mass murder than recollect the plodding chords and insipid lyrics of that tune. For one thing it’s more relaxing. I don’t think I’m alone in this. This project has inspired me to send the instrument once owned by pioneering free-jazz alpehornist Fritz Entegeliebter to various places which have banned indoor smoking. Entegeliebter will accompany the instrument, and play it in the hope his frenetic sqonkings will cause any anti-smoking zealots in the vicinity to reflect upon what complete an...