Across Difficult Country

Near the River Ouse at Barlby, the sinister allure of the white van proved irresistible to a maniac (or does driving white vans turn normal men into maniacs?), who used one to run over a boy in a tent. The BBC reports on " Sri Lanka's sinister white van abductions " (I wrote the BBC and asked them to stop stealing my material). A white van crashed into the Town of Lee’s Nice-N-Easy “several times” before heading “south toward Rome” like Ceaser did in 49 BC, said a police schooled in ancient history, whom I made up. The motive for the attack is not known, which surprises none of us because incomprehensible motives is the white van modus operandi . Warminster Township police are baffled by an incident where two men attempted to lure a teen into a gold van.  “Are you sure it was not a white van?” police asked her. The teen insists the van was gold. I will monitor this potential development. In Minneapolis a perverted Mexican exposed himself to a you...

Multiple attempts by at least two different drivers to lure children into white vans in the Pittsburgh area - six in the past three weeks. Police urge everyone to “stay alert”, but refused to comment when asked if they believe, as some do, that falling into a reverie causes the white vans to appear. In Sydney, Australia, a man tried to “entice” a 12 year old girl into his white van . Earlier in the day in another part of town, a white van stalked a 15 year old boy on the way to school. L ike a dreamer awoken from a nightmare t he youth vividly recounted the terror he felt as the white van pursued him, but was “unable to provide a description of any occupants of the vehicle”. Police “don’t believe any of the incidents are linked”, despite the glaringly obvious white van connection. A man in a white van was observed “ fighting with himself ” in Grass Valley, California. A New Zealand woman was “ grabbed on Te Ngae Rd and dragged into the ...

In a case eerily similar to the murder of Aisia A. Johnson , three gunmen broke into an apartment near Indian School Road and 67th Avenue and began shooting , killing one of the occupants and wounding another. Two of the shooters then fled in a white van. A white van was seen lurking near an athletic equipment shed in Lynchburg, then it was gone. 15 minutes later the athletic equipment shed burst into flames . In Kissimmee motorists observed a white van intentionally hit a motorcycle , causing it to crash. The motorcyclist died at the scene. The homicidal white van remains at large. A white van driven by a man named Jesus led police on a wild chase through Bloomfield Township , “smashing into several cars and construction barrels”. After crashing into an SUV on Big Beaver road, Jesus leapt from the wreckage and began throwing punches at police, who responded with Tasers. Following the zapping, Jesus became unresponsive, was taken to a hospital, and pronounced dead. In Port St. ...

A despicable thief driving a white van remains at large in Espanola : The Espanola Lions Club and Espanola Volunteer Firefighters held a food drive, a door-to-door drive, in town in June…They asked for people to leave out bagged non-perishable items on their doorsteps for pick up around 5:00 pm in the evening. However, someone, as far as we know, driving a white van, went around earlier in the afternoon and picked up items. Perverts driving white vans tried to abduct boys in Sydney and Fall River , and some girls in Fort Dodge . In St. Louis a pair of masked men gunned down Aisia A. Johnson , then sped off in a white van. In West Wolds a white van "pulled up and a male asked the informant if he had any scrap metal. The van has since been seen in the area by other neighbours and seems to go down every street very slowly” "Have any scrap metal?” is, of course, street lingo for “ do you have a goat I could fornicate with ?”