Across Difficult Country

Fretful scientist (aren't they all these days?) Professor Lloyd Peck is claiming the Antarctic (where I am at present enduring one of the worst vacations of my life), because it is thawing, is on "the edge of disaster". How can he tell? Only a scientist could argue that not being frozen in a block of ice is a "disaster". He is upset that "this trip I saw grass growing in areas that I have not seen grass before." Someone should ask Professor Peck if he has a lawn in front of his house or an ice rink. Professor Peck worries that a thaw will harm the local wildlife. I can assure him that the Yeti's that once roamed these frozen wastes must already be extinct as I haven't seen a single one. Oddly, after claiming concern for the local wildlife, the egotistical Professor Lloyd Peck confesses "We take clams out of the sediment and let them bury themselves again. We take limpets off the seashore, turn them over and let them turn back again....

Antarctica is sorely lacking in nightlife. It is also sorely lacking in night, as the sun does not set in Antarctica this time of year. Perpetual day has destroyed my already tenuous ability to sleep, and I find myself staring for hours at the monotonous expanse of empty, white landscape, which I paint a picture of, since there is nothing else to do. My guidebook is out of date. I have not met a single Eskimo or Yeti, as I was promised, and I am beginning to suspect that my travel agent is less than reputable.