Showing posts from June, 2005

About the Tanganyka region

An item on an inexplicably esteemed ‘litblog’ complains about a recent essay in the WSJ by John Miller that criticized H.G. Wells: "Finally, Miller leaves us with a few bizarre insinuations about Wells' beliefs in science, evolution, and materialism. It is a peculiar claim of today's "conservatives" that by embracing evolutionary theory, the left has also embraced social Darwinism, thus destroying individual dignity and ushering in a merciless, survival-of-the-fittest world. Of course, it was the uber-capitalists of the Gilded Age who turned the theory of natural selection into a pseudo-scientific social creed. And the victory of laissez-faire, dog-eat-dog capitalism -- and the abolition of civilizing regulatory and social policies that guard against its worst excesses -- have been the central causes of the Republican Party for the last thirty years." H.G. Wells, in his own words: "It seemed to me that to discourage the multiplication of people below


"Within a single generation," writes David Ritchie, "paranoia has become as American as baseball and Mom’s apple pie." ...Ritchie, a bearded man of about 50 who has lived and worked in Seoul, Korea, since the mid-90s, is a specialist in geophysics and aerospace technology. Over the past two decades, he’s written books about everything from volcanoes and earthquakes to artificial intelligence and the history of American space-based weapons systems. He’s also written countless articles on science and technology for a variety of magazines. It’s only been in the last few years, however, that he’s turned his attentions toward conspiracy theories. Or, more specifically, what he has labeled "techno-paranoia"–those particular conspiracies that revolve around technological issues–UFOs, "scalar weapons," antigravity engines and the like. ...As it turns out, nearly every aspect of most of these stories can be traced back to some particular movie or tv show–

I didn't say they were funny I said they were old

Some really old jokes - 5th Century AD old, from the Philogelos : 57. An intellectual got a slave pregnant. At the birth, his father suggested that the child be killed. The intellectual replied: "First murder your own children and then tell me to kill mine." #227B. While an intellectual was imbibing in a tavern, someone approached and told him: "Your wife is dead." The intellectual said: "Time, my good man, to mix me some dark wine #247B. While a misogynist was paying his last respects to his wife, someone asked him: "Who has gone to rest?" He replied: "Me, now that I'm alone." #248A. A misogynist was sick, at death's door. When his wife said to him, "If anything bad happens to you, I'll hang myself," he looked up at her and said: "Do me the favor while I'm still alive."

I hate ingratitude in a man

New allegations of ‘Koran abuse’: LAHORE, Pakistan, June 28 -- Pakistanis freed from jail here after being held at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, alleged Monday that they saw American interrogators throw, tear and stand on copies of the Koran... As has been noted elsewhere , the simplest way to put a stop to allegations of Koran abuse by Guantanamo prisoners is to take away the Korans . One former detainee also alleges, “naked women sat on prisoners' chests during questioning.” It isn’t clear to me if he is complaining or bragging, but he should be grateful to America for having provided him with the only instance in his life he will ever have contact with a naked woman who is less hairy than he is.

Send lawyer guns and money. Actually, forget the guns, just send money.

By now everyone knows of Live 8 , a series of concerts various has-been rock stars are staging to raise money for the blighted Negroes of Africa ( it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it ). An unintended consequence of this over-hyped charity event is that those closer to home in need get overlooked. Our old friend Stephen Bainbridge, for instance. Despite the six-figure plus salary he's paid as a professor of law at UCLA, Professor Bainbridge seems to have fallen on hard times to such an extent he’s been begging readers of his blog to send him money to pay for household items . I’m not alone in worrying the Professor’s oenophilia may have progressed to oenomania, or even dipsomania. Given that he’s on summer break in California, one might think Professor Bainbridge could supplement his income by picking grapes. But, as the Professor himself has noted, all the grape picking jobs have already been taken by illegal aliens. It’s so terribly sad.

Easier for thee but not for me

Senator Patty ‘ Osama Daycare ’ Murray will be attending a "Town Hall" forum in Seattle tomorrow to hear suggestions on how to make it easier for Muslims to immigrate to the United States. Remind me again, why I would want it to be easier for Muslims to immigrate to the United States? I’m also unable to think of the last time a Senator was interested in making anything easier for me . It’s all very mysterious. In other mysterious local news, 58 years ago today the famous Kenneth Arnold UFO sighting occurred over Washington State: "Nine bright saucer-like objects flying at "incredible speed" at 10,000 feet altitude were reported here today by Kenneth Arnold, a Boise, Idaho, pilot who said he could not hazard a guess as to what they were. Arnold, a United States Forest Service employee engaged in searching for a missing plane, said he sighted the mysterious objects yesterday at 3 P.M. They were flying between Mount Rainier and Mount Adams, in Washington state,

You cannot teach a crab to walk straight

A new book by someone named Ed Klein reports that Chelsea Clinton was conceived as the result of the rape of Hillary Clinton by Bill Clinton. This is a dubious claim to those of us who are ‘insiders’, for it is widely known (but little reported) that Hillary Clinton has a penis. In fact one of my left-wing college chums (a reliable fellow except for his politics) who briefly worked in the Clinton White House had to suffer the trauma of an aroused Hillary Clinton exposing her penis in front of him (a family habit, it seems). Though it occurs to me that there is a way to reconcile the allegations of Ed Klein with the incident described by my friend: perhaps Hillary has male and female genitalia? This form of deviancy has become quite popular in recent years, so much so that the practice has spread to the animal kingdom. See, for instance, this perverted crab some fisherman recently caught, which is half male and half female, or, to use the scientific term, a 'bilateral gynandromo

Lucky Numbers 8, 12, 21, 23, 30, 42

Good news! The Chinese have developed a new method for the early detection of Alzheimer’s . As shown in the illustration above, the top of the patient's head is sawn off. Then a group of elderly and inscrutable Chinamen gather round and squint at the patient’s exposed brain in order to ‘read’ the patients brain wrinkles. A lengthy and animated discussion ensues, until finally the wise men deliver their verdict. Not only will they tell the patient if he is going to get Alzheimer’s, but they can also predict the patient’s fortune by this method. In other health news, it seems that parents in Indonesia are big and fat, but children in Indonesia are skinny. Perhaps some of the has-been rock stars who were not invited to participate in Live 8 can organize a benefit concert? In the West we take it for granted that most children are fatties just like their parents. If we all shared, just a little bit, of our resources and knowledge, we could get these Indonesian children as obese as the

It's hard to believe now

Steve Sailer unearths a gem from the dung heap that is NRO’s ‘The Corner’, in which the imbecilic son of a once prominent Neocon asks "What magazine's website is this again?" A better question would be: what magazine is this again? National Review once published writers such as Florence King, Wilmoore Kendall, Richard Weaver, James Burnham, Russell Kirk, and Eric von Kuehnelt-Leddihn. It now publishes mediocrities such as Goldberg, ‘J-Pod’, ‘K-Lo’, Lowry, and Frum, a group that can be counted on to stand athwart history yelling whatever the current Republican party talking points are.

Annotated News

The Seattle Times reports : King County prosecutors say a former White Center 1 woman, believing her daughter was a "demon," drowned the 6-year-old girl in a bathtub, chopped off her head and threw her body from a bridge. Samara Spann , 30, now living in California, was charged yesterday with first-degree murder in the slaying of her daughter Kyeimah on Dec. 31 or Jan. 1. Prosecutors say she killed her daughter because she believed she was possessed and "would not stay in bed and kept interrupting" a telephone conversation. The AP reports (scroll down) : Samara Spann's father, Gary Spann, told The Sacramento Bee that his daughter routinely called Kyeimah a "devil child" and belonged to a cult that worships the late rapper Tupac Shakur as the reincarnation of Machiavelli 2 , a 16th century political philosopher. 1 An ironic name now, given the area’s demographics, unofficially known as ‘Rat City’. 2 This author explains Shakur fans: ...pla

You probably didn't remember so I'll remind you

Michael Jackson has been acquitted, a verdict some self-proclaimed legal ‘experts’ are describing as "stunning". But it isn't stunning, as I wrote on February 27 : Jackson is clearly innocent. Really, he is. Examine the past actions of his accuser’s family. And examine the testimony of Corey Feldman, who assures us Jackson never fondled him. Think about it for a moment – would someone who takes advantage of boys pass on a young Corey Feldman given the chance? It makes no sense. While it may be because of his wealth and fame, I suspect the poor creature’s being persecuted in part because he’s the best dancer in the world. Envy is an ugly thing. I also think he’s resented because he’s a homosexualist by nature yet chooses to be asexual. This is something modern liberals and activist homosexualists find intolerable, but I find it admirable, as it allows even those who loathe homosexualists to enjoy his delightful dancing. Some worry Jackson won’t get a fair trial, as the ju

Speaking of zoos…

Who says the Germans lack a sense of humor? Zoo to display black men with elephants The addition of black actor in grass skirts to the elephant and rhino exhibits at a zoo in Augsberg, Germany, has sparked accusations of exploitation. Brochures for an upcoming 3-day promotion called Discover the Dark Continent, the zoo plans to hire blacks to conduct traditional African activities such as basket-weaving, woodwork and various rituals such as tribal dancing... The human exhibits will be separated from the animals in an area where they can be observed by visitors. Given demographic trends in the United States, at some point in the future won’t WASPs be exhibited in zoos? In my dark vision I foresee a group of slim, well dressed WASPs milling about a simulated WASP habitat such as a mock up of the interior of country club with an adjacent golf hole, gin and tonics in hand, slightly pensive looks on their WASP faces as they attempt to ignore the presence of the obese, multi-cultural, backw

Monkey economics and the Catgarookey

Keith Chen, a Yale economist, has taught capuchin monkeys how to spend money. But can he teach the monkeys to save adequately for retirement? I doubt it. Chen describes working with the monkeys: "You can feed them marshmallows all day, they'll throw up and then come back for more." Chen fails to give the reason why he is feeding the funny little monkeys marshmallows all day until they become sick, I suspect it’s because he can (‘scientists’ tormenting animals for no good reason has sadly become all too common ). Meanwhile in the UK: A mysterious creature described as a cross between a kangaroo, a leopard, a monkey and a cat is stalking Salisbury. In a state of nature you would never find that range of creatures mating to produce an offspring. The only logical explanation is that disgusting inter-species orgies are taking place in British zoos. Someone should pay a capuchin monkey to go ‘under cover’ and investigate.

Money well spent

After reading this and this , I read this : "I graduated from Harvard in 2004 with a degree in philosophy." Then I laughed uncontrollably.