I am bananas but have no recipes

In the Whitby Gazette Jacqui Carter (no relation) writes:

Banana bread help

I would be grateful for your readers’ help as I have lost my banana bread recipe; I have bananas but no recipe.

Can anyone send me one and a bread and butter recipe.
Poor, naive, Jacqui Carter (no relation), believe me when I say you will receive no help from the wicked inhabitants of Whitby, for Whitby is an accursed town of the damned.

Loyal ADC readers, on the other hand, are nice people known for having jugs of Christmas spirit. I'm betting they can find it in their hearts to give Jacqui Carter (no relation) a banana.

Send bananas to:

Jacqui Carter
101 Millbrook Avenue, Middlesbrough TS3 9EA, UK


  1. Just now I'm hoarding bananas for the New Year. But shortly after that I may be able to oblige.

  2. Isn't he asking for a recipe, and NOT bananas? So you want to flood poor Mr. Carter (no relation) with bananas, after he has explicitly said he HAS bananas. Are you sure you are no relation--I mean, not bananas?

  3. That's kind of you, Mr. Mangan. Weren't we all supposed to hoard bananas because they were going extinct? I seem to remember that.

    Mr. Mintern I can tell you have a generous soul, but I know from experience that when someone says "I have bananas" what they really mean is "I need strangers to send me bananas in the mail, but I'm too proud to admit it."

  4. There are two facets to "experience": the experience itself, and the interpretation of the experience. This is elementary. Obviously if you are sending bananas to people who say they have them, you are making an elemental mistake of interpretation, which can be easily corrected. Stop! Do not psychoanalyze people, even people from an accursed town of the damned. I think I may go ahead and send Jacqui a recipe for bread and butter; I will tell him to spread the butter on the bread. So simple! Why do I have to explain everything? God! People are stupid!

  5. As always Lloyd, you are the voice of wisdom, and it's good of you to send the bread and butter recipe.

    I don't know any food recipes, so I came up with a drink recipe:

    The Jacqui Carter (no relation)

    2 oz dark rum
    1 oz light rum
    1/2 oz white crème de cacao
    juice 1/2 lime
    1 tsp. fine sugar
    dash of orange bitters

    Shake well over ice, serve in tall cocktail galss. Garnish with banana (peeled).

  6. Your first response to Lloyd had me laughing out loud.



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