Float on

Things have become so bad in America a desperate Colorado couple loaded their son in a balloon and cast him adrift in hopes the wind would carry him to a better place.

UPDATE: It turns out the presumptive aéronaute was not on the balloon at all, he was hiding in the attic. I pulled a similar stunt when I was six, only instead of hiding in the attic I walked downtown and checked myself into a hotel under an assumed name. After searching for me for possibly hours my parents gave up and moved away, to the considerable relief of parties on both sides.


  1. I have been attempting to build a dirigible for years. Darn this international helium shortage!

  2. When I was six I did little else but remind my parents that I existed. "I am here," I used to say, if I noticed that my mother had not looked at me for ten minutes. "Here I am," I would say, hanging off the couch, "see how upside down I am." I would walk around the house with a mirror, looking into it and stepping over the the door lintels.

  3. That is probably why they moved away.
    My own habit was to stay out of sight as much as possible, and thus avoid alienating my parents. Even in the few snapshots which they managed to take of me, I am always standing behind something...an armoire, a pedastel lamp. My mother would leave my meals out, which I ate when no one was around. I believe that this habit of ...elusiveness is what preserved our family harmony.To this day, if I visit, they will put out a bowl for me on the kitchen floor.

  4. Anonymous
    What are you talking about? Nobody moves away in my family. We watch each other constantly!

    I can see from the account of your "habit" why you are anonymous.

  5. JC: I'd forgotten, but helium is really expensive these days.

    Lloyd: Be glad your parents didn't have a balloon.

    Anon: Strongly consider the possibility you are a cat.

  6. I too spent my childhood reminding my parents that I existed. "Sir," I would say (or "Madam"), "I exist!" "However," my parents would reply, "The fact has not created in us a sense of obligation.”


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