October Oddments

Scientists say God put taste buds in our lungs because He wants us to smoke tobacco.

To save money, the Telegraph newspaper no longer uses proofreaders.

The Burmese jungle teems with sneezing monkeys that look like Michael Jackson in his later stages. Gruesome thought: could they be Jacko-Bubbles hybrids? Recall the rumors of a secret laboratory in the caverns beneath the Neverland ranch. I will report back once the results of DNA tests are in.

Ghoulish Russian bears are digging up and eating corpses in graveyards: "In Karelia one bear learned how to do it [open a coffin]. He then taught the others," she added, suggesting: "They are pretty quick learners."

When I observed “bears are capable of crimes more heinous than stealing picnic baskets,” I had no idea just how horrible they were.

Russian “yetis” declare war on bears, and who can blame them?

Some people think the Russian yetis (also known as Almasti) are actually Neanderthals.


  1. Gruesome thought: could they be Jacko-Bubbles hybrids?

    They are, and it proves Michael really didn't have all that plastic surgery--because it shows he passed on his unique features genetically. Jackson supporters will be relieved to finally put to rest those awful nose-job rumors. Let's not burst their bubble with the other implications, they've been through enough this last year as it is.

  2. The Burmese-Jacko-sneezing monkeys may force us to reconsider Lamarckian inheritance.

  3. Yes, but have we seen them walk?


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