That White Phantom Drives In All Imaginations

Near the River Ouse at Barlby, the sinister allure of the white van proved irresistible to a maniac (or does driving white vans turn normal men into maniacs?), who used one to run over a boy in a tent.

The BBC reports on "Sri Lanka's sinister white van abductions" (I wrote the BBC and asked them to stop stealing my material).

A white van crashed into the Town of Lee’s Nice-N-Easy “several times” before heading “south toward Rome” like Ceaser did in 49 BC, said a police schooled in ancient history, whom I made up. The motive for the attack is not known, which surprises none of us because incomprehensible motives is the white van modus operandi.

Warminster Township police are baffled by an incident where two men attempted to lure a teen into a gold van.  “Are you sure it was not a white van?” police asked her. The teen insists the van was gold. I will monitor this potential development.

In Minneapolis a perverted Mexican exposed himself to a young girl waiting at a bus stop. The crime occured at 11th Avenue North and Van White Memorial Boulevard.