The Japanese have invented a robot for the home, named RI-MAN, capable of carrying a life-like, realistic sex doll in his robot arms. This is a tremendous breakthrough for feeble and lazy perverts of the life-like, realistic sex doll persuasion, who no longer have to get out of bed. In the future RI-MAN the robot may also be used to care for Japan’s elderly, so RI-MAN has been programmed to distinguish eight different kinds of smells. I’m guessing one is doo-doo smell, one is that weird old people smell, and one is banana pudding smell. That leaves five smells I’d rather not try and guess. In the future, experts tell us, America will use Mexican immigrants to take care of her excess elderly, and that with a little training many of them can be taught to distinguish as many smells (ocho) as RI-MAN . I wonder if this preference for Mexicans isn’t motivated by robo-phobic bigotry. It’s claimed Mexican immigrants are cheaper than robots. Perhaps, but look at RI-MAN’s hands - he could
My Dear Sir - I always come to you to see the news that no one else is willing to print.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to interest the Ukrainians in the indelible, edible 'jackfruit', so far with no success.
DeleteIf only a black-faced Fawcett had travelled to Ukraine bearing jackfruits. The world would be a different place today, and a better one.
ReplyDeleteThat's true. I often pause and think "If only there were a program sending minstrels and jackfruits into trouble spots," then I go back to drinking.
DeleteAlas, since a blackened face is so integral to the art form, it would be difficult for a minstrel to sustain his minstrelry after being beheaded.
DeleteA jackfruit "surge" might be more successful, although I fear our enemies abroad would just use them for target practice.
The men of Khesiya village must be really, really, lazy. Maybe I should move there, I would fit right in.
ReplyDeleteFez: Stealthily blanketing an area with jackfruits at night could be effective. I know it would scare me if that's what I awoke to.
ReplyDeletethis one was made for ADC:
ReplyDeleteAn Italian senator is seeking an exorcist after being "cursed" by evil African spirits in revenge for calling Italy’s first black minister an orangutan.
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http://www.thelocal.it/20140828/ive-been-cursed-by-evil-african-spirits-top-politician
"He later claimed he was a “misunderstood animal lover” and refused to resign. But that explanation failed to convince the prosecutor of Bergamo, who ordered him to stand trial for defamation aggravated by racial discrimination. The trial is ongoing.
DeleteAfter a spate of bad luck - including undergoing six operations, losing his mother and last week finding a 6ft snake in his house - Calderoli told the weekly gossip magazine, Oggi, that African spirits have plotted against him in revenge for the insult."
He also might get prosecuted for killing that snake, which animal rights activists claim is a protected species.