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Afer announcing a proposal to “provide free diapers-to-dormitory public education”, expand “early childhood learning programs”, with “the pledge of a free two-year community college degree to all high school graduates”, the obviously deranged Governor of Massachusetts Deval Patrick proclaimed:
"There will be those, there always are, who say we can't afford this, that this is too ambitious, that the interests involved are too entrenched, perhaps that this is just too h-a-a-a-rd," the governor said, stretching the final word in a belittling manner.

"Those are the same voices who said that President Kennedy's call to put a man on the moon in less than a decade was a folly, who said the United States could never win the Second World War, who said that America would never free her slaves, who said the colonies could never be independent of Britain, that America herself could never be born."
And then there are those voices that say we can’t build a community college on the moon, using British slave labor (in my experience those voices are no fun at parties).

It should be obvious to everyone by now that democracy doesn’t work (unsurprisingly Patrick was elected in a landslide, winning 56% of the vote), if it isn't after the next presidential election it surely will be.


  1. In Charles Royster's history of the Civil War he mentions one American who explained the Civil War to some confused and unenlightened European traveler, as "the conquest of America by Massachusetts."

    Since Massachusetts came out of that one smelling of such roses that later, it not only conquered the planet but also the moon - "We choose to go to the moon! Not because it is easy, but because it is hard!" I'm afraid your naysaying rings pretty hollow.

    I mean, are you opposed to education, or something? Why can't we build a community college on the moon? And why just a community college? Why not a world-class research university? Or at least a lunar-class one? And don't the British deserve a little community service for their imperialist crimes? I'm sure Britons of color can be exempted...

    No - I welcome our new Massachusetts overlords. And I hope the peoples of the moon, who I don't know personally but I'm sure are very diverse, will be just as grateful for the education of which they have been so long deprived.

  2. Ha! I think the research universities are going in on Mars (that's a great quote about the Civil War by the way).

    In all seriousness, if was in arm's reach of a politician who said "this is just too h-a-a-a-rd" at me I would punch him in the face.

  3. In all seriousness, if was in arm's reach of a politician who said "this is just too h-a-a-a-rd" at me I would punch him in the face.

    Especially Patrick. He has the most annoying high pitched voice.

  4. As a resident of Massachusett(e)s, I can assure you that Patrick's voice is pitched that high so that it may be picked-up by special audio receivers developed by the runaway slave peoples of the moon at their lunar research universities (with my tax dollars)

  5. "Building a community college on the moon"?

    Pshaw, far too unambitious.

    He should try something more challenging, such as teaching ravens to fly underwater.

  6. Andy & Fez: In my youth my state's governor had a high pitched voice. One of his house was in a friends neighboorhood, and he would let us use his tennis and basketball courts. Which was nice, though in hindsight it might've been because he was afraid of us.

    MCB: Send that link to Patrick so he can make underwater raven flying classes free for everyone.

    Note to self: that last sentence is flawed.

  7. Perhaps he could copy Cato the Elder - instead of ending all speeches with Carthargo Delenda Est, he could substitute "And ravens SHALL fly underwater".

  8. Speaking of Romans, didn't Julius Ceaser have a high pitched voice?


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