Camels are for smoking

From the Australian outback comes the gruesome story of a woman killed by her own pet camel:

“The 10-month-old animal knocked the woman, 60, to the ground, stomped on her head and then lay on top of her.”

A policeman on the scene, Sen-Constable Gregory, reports the camel had a history of odd behavior:

“It had a bit of a habit with a goat, knocking it over and sort of straddling it and laying on top of it.”

There’s little to be said after such a tragedy, which didn’t stop local “camel expert” Paddy McHugh from weighing in:
Townsville-based camel expert Paddy McHugh said the behaviour was “extremely unusual” for a camel so young.

“That’s a characteristic of a camel out of control,” he said.
Mr. McHugh said camels still made great pets, “often better than dogs”.
Yes, except for being six feet tall and weighing over a thousand pounds and occasionally stomping your head in because they are acting out some psycho-sexual urge, camels are much better pets than dogs.

Why must animal experts always make excuses whenever their favorite beasts do something terrible? It’s as if they’ve spent so much time studying and working with the animals they’ve contracted a zoological variant of Stockholm syndrome. If a shark eats a man, shark biologists rush to say it’s only because the shark thought the man was seal. If a tiger mauls a homosexualist it’s claimed the tiger was, in reality, only trying to help the victim of a stroke. If a mamba snake inflicts multiple bite wounds on a family inevitably some ophiologist jumps up shouting the mamba snake only did it because he had a difficult childhood and suffered from low self esteem.

RELATED: Bovine strangler.


  1. You're quite mistaken. Ophiologists don't shout.

  2. You hit on something that really bothers me as well, namely what you describe as "a zoological variant of Stockholm syndrome".

    Shark apologists are always doing this sort of thing. They're a lot like multiculturalists in that they'd have you believe that irrational bigotry is the only thing that leads people to believe that sharks are any different from dolphins.

  3. That sharks are any different from dolphins in terms of lovability and danger to humans, I meant to say.

    It's the same with people who claim that it shouldn't matter to you whether you live in a neighborhood composed of negroes or a neighborhood composed of Anglo-Saxons.

    As for me, I'll take the dolphins and the Anglos, thank you very much.

  4. MCB: Thanks for that update. I love this:

    "You have to forgive the camel"

    Why? It's not as if the camel, even if he weren't a murderous psychopath, would care, or even know.

    When the camel kills again - and we all know he will - you will hear the same excuses.

    Note this:

    "She had signs of being trodden on by the pet camel, he rolled on her while she was on the ground," Sgt Wheeler said."

    Followed by

    "The camel was not vicious by nature"

    Other than that stomping and rolling thing, completely gentle...


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