Your Kung-Fu is no Good Here

Lord Tebbit battles Chinese dragon!
The 78-year-old was so upset by the noise caused by a Chinese New Year celebration near his home that he ran 100 yards down the street, grabbed a drum that someone was banging, and planted a kick on the backside of a dancing dragon - without realising a boy was inside."

Restaurant owner Patrick Chung, who organised the street celebration in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, said: 'A drum was being beaten outside my restaurant as part of Chinese New Year but Lord Tebbit arrived and stopped the drummer.
'He probably did not realise what was going on. He did kick the dragon.

'There was a child inside the costume and he was kicking the dragon's bottom. He ran after the dragon and kicked it. The child was upset. He did not know what was happening.'

Another witness said: 'This old man came running towards the dragon on the parade.

'He grabbed the drum and cymbal being played and then started violently kicking the dragon itself.
I once punched someone in a bear costume in the oversized, spongy head. Shortly after it dawned on me if the suit contained a woman, I would be in a spot of trouble. Luckily, the wearer was that fellow from my high school with no eyebrows, the one I nicknamed ‘the pre-registered sex offender’.

Moral of story: Know who is inside before striking, or disaster might result!


  1. When I was twelve I punched a actual bear in Michigan that had come up to the car while our family was parked at one of those scenic lookout stops. I rolled down the car window and punched the bear right in the nose, and he scampered away, whining. Lucky thing to, because my little brother was outside looking through the binoculars they have there, and surely this bear was about to gobble him up. This is a family story that has been told so many times no one knows how true it is in all the details, but I still dream about it and relive that moment I rolled down the car window and, without hesitation, saved my family. Incredible, eh?

  2. That is incredible. The frontier spirit resides within the urbane raconteur.

  3. Wow!

    That is a little crazy


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