Invited Guests

Disturbing notice in the Whitby Gazette:
Whitby to host clergy conference
WHITBY will be the venue for a summer conference hosted by the Bishop of Whitby to which guests from all over the world are being invited.
It is due to take place between the 11 and 15 July and will look at how the Celtic tradition can help the Church in its work today.
The conference will consist of four major sessions featuring internationally known speakers as well as field trips, services and time for relaxation.
Delegates will be based in Whitby but will have the opportunity to visit other parts of North Yorkshire...
Obviously, the idea is to lure a large number of clergyman to Whitby, then ritualistically murder them. Let us hope my exposing this diabolic plan will deter the wicked Whitbians from bringing it to bloody fruition.


  1. My advice to clergy attending is if you see any large wicker figures being built around the town, turn around and go home.

  2. That's good advice. Also, if you see a movie with a large wicker figure in it, and it also has Nicholas Cage, turn around and go home, it's the wrong one.

  3. Also, anyone finding themselves lodging at a local inn should simply knock on Britt Ekland's room's door - rather than driving themselves crazy.

  4. Once, I suggested to a girlfriend she learn that dance Ekland did. To no avail.

  5. For those interested, that photo was taken by Alexander Allison.

  6. Any clergy fool enough to willingly step foot in Whitby is really just asking for it. Don't they read ADC?

  7. When it comes to reading ADC, the clergy are no different than the general public.

  8. Be fair. The Celtic Church, which kept Christianity alive in the British Isles during the Dark Ages, is hoping to reverse the 664 AD Synod of Whitby.

    (although as the place where Dracula first landed in Bram Stokers novel, Whitby is infested by Goths)

  9. I've just realised - checking out your word cloud I see that you are well acquainted with the Innsmouth of North Yorkshire.

    The Real Whitby website is a useful source.

  10. See The Whitby Conclave.

    I can't tell if Whitby has become less strange, or if it only seems less strange because the Whitby Gazette doesn't do real journalism anymore. Probably both.

  11. Whitby is a strange but fascinating and beautiful place. Has some real characters, like Captain Jack Lammiman.

    In the winter the tourists mostly disappear.

    "What do you do here in the winter ?"

    "Same as in summer, love, but with clothes on!"


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