Return of the elusive man

In a bar to soothe my teeming brain with a ‘few’ highballs and in through the door strolls Professor Glen Morangie, recently returned from a scientific expedition to Srinagar, India to acquire a living specimen of the Giant Owl of Kashmir.

“I’ve proven conclusively the Giant Owl of Kashmir is extinct,” claims Morangie.

The Professor informs me with his Strigiformes research concluded, he’s turning to politics, and plans to run for President. His platform includes increased government funding for treating emetophilia (a condition he himself suffers from), holding an annual vote to let the people select which lucky country will be the recipient of our bombs for the entire following year, and replacing the bald eagle as national symbol with the extinct Giant Owl of Kashmir.

“The kindest and most gentle of all known giant owls, which is probably why the poor creatures went extinct,” claims the Professor, slightly teary-eyed.

I’m not sure how his policies compare with those taken by the leading candidates, as I’m incapable of listening to the wind-up wheezings of the leading candidates, vainly mouthing the same platitudes over and over to the adulation of their brainless followers.

He’s explaining how he has 'ethnic' appeal, stemming from the little known fact that his grandfather may have been a Mustiphino when I excuse myself to go outside for a cigarette.

Outside the sun is shining. I know at some point his ramblings will end he’ll surely ask me for a campaign contribution. I light a cigarette and start walking.


  1. You must help us all understand how you can prove a negative.


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