The return of Mande Burung

Huge ape-like beasts of a type unknown to science are terrorizing the Hindu Kush. Locals call these “illusive,” Bigfootish creatures Mande Burung:
The colour of the hair is reported to be black or blackish brown. It has some kind of foul odour/smell emanating from the body. It has a footprint/pug mark size from 13 inches to 15 inches in length. It may be around 7’5" to 9’ tall. It may weigh around 300 kgs. It is noted to be herbivorous creature, who eats banana, tubes, tree roots, fruits, berries, barks of some trees, sawe trees and is also reported to eat crabs. It walks on two legs (biped). (As reported in 2002 sighting). It sleeps in the nest built on the open ground (as reported in 2002 sighting). It is shy and is basically harmless (as reported in 2005 sighting). It is a creature with phenomenal strength.
A perverted female Mande Burung once forced a man to suckle its teats. The milk, he says (whenever anyone will listen, I imagine), tasted “sour with a mixture of bitterness”.

According to one report, the shaggy giants wear hats (the specific type of headgear is, alas, unspecified).*

As disturbing as these creatures are, local villagers say they prefer sharing the jungle with Mande Burungs to living with the Obillary Bamacain, a three headed monster that roams America spreading tedium and nonsense.

*The only other cryptid I’m aware of that wears a hat is the boto.


  1. If this 7'5" - 9' fellow is real, how come he hasn't been signed to an NBA contract? He wouldn't even have to be any good at basketball. Manute Bol wasn't.

    Maybe its because the NBA won't let him wear a hat.

  2. Because he's like everyone else from India - terrible at sports.

  3. Sadly enough, the world is still full of pint brained dimwit morons who would ever expect animals to play basketball (Yuck!!!). As far as the cap goes, I heard it was presented to the Bigfoot by John Wayne. Probably, next time the Bigfoot may be seen with his .45 Colt Gunbelt across his waist. For other geographically retarded morons, the area is NOT hindu kush, refer to your school atlas.

  4. this area borders china where reports of such creatures also exist..perhaps this creature is unaware of countries borders.


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