Billionerd Bill Gates is leaving Microsoft to become a global busybody. His first victims will be the Chinese, who he plans to annoy with two new initiatives: the Gates Foundation’s “In China You No Smokee-Ciggie” anti-tobacco campaign, and the “In China You No Pokee-Rumpee” anti-sodomy campaign.

Both campaigns are absurd. Think of the millions of Chinamen who toil in factories putting lead in children’s toys. Other than the delight that comes with poisoning American children and the satisfaction of the occasional cigarette, what pleasures do they have? As for the other initiative, even Mao couldn’t stop the Chinese from analizing each other. So why bother?

I get the sense Gates has no imagination, and believes every spare minute should be devoted to installing or rebooting Windows Vista, because that’s what he likes to do.

The cost of both campaigns will be over $100 million. Peanuts to Gates, yet his bloated foundation can’t spare a cent for the poor Chinese girl with legs wrapped in dumpling dough.


  1. I suspect he's just trying to put the Pacific between him and that busybody ballbuster wife of his.
    I don't know, he busts his ass building an empire and becoming the richest man on the planet while she leverages a turn as a failed project manager into a claim on half of it all. Who says men are smarter?

  2. Maybe he has a dark side she tolerates, or even encourages? Who really knows what goes on in the enormous underground sections of that home of his...

  3. I thought you just said he had no imagination. From what I understand, the Gates home is entirely self-sufficient; it has achieved something the human race hasn't: consciousness.

    Of course this is just my understanding.

  4. Breaking News: Bill Gates’ enormous home announces initiative to get members of the Yanomamo tribe to wear bike helmets.

  5. Mr. Carter,

    Do you have any more exact information on the anti-sodomy initiative. This is kinda hard to believe. Its politically incorrect BIG-Time in the U.S.A. I understand a "safe sex" drive, but Im very suprised that Gates would dare undertake an anti-anal sex drive. San Fransiscans would have a cow about this.

    I would have thought Gates, like other people-haters, would have been for gay tolerance to drive down the Chinese population even faster than its already falling.

    Parting note: I think China will wise up to the US in another decade or two, and stop encrouraging its population to decline so steeply with the one-child policy. I bet they would LIKE having a constant population of roughly one billion people, so they'd easily outnumber us when push comes to shove..............and the communists who run China will indeed make push come to shove if we ever dare to really coax China's elite into accepting a real democracy I assure you. Tyrannical classes dont normally let power slip through their hands without a fight.


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