Lizards of Laos

An Australian man who spent eleven days lost in the jungles of Laos remains hospitalized in serious condition. At one point during his ordeal the man, Hayden Adcock, was chased and attacked by giant, flesh eating lizards:

He said to my nephew…he was looking between some trees and there was a cliff face, and big lizards came out of the rockface of the cliff and they chased him and he ran into the forest and cut himself. He was then saying he'd fell into the river and the lizards chased him into the river and attacked him...

Scientists find Adcock’s account intriguing. “As far as we know, there are no lizards of any kind in Laos, let alone giant flesh eating lizards,” said herpetologist Alexander Abonutichus. “We may have to rewrite the textbooks. It certainly deserves further investigation.”

Also needing investigation is how Adcock became lost in the first place, there is suspicion he was set up:

Mr. Adcock partly blames his ordeal on advice he was given by locals, informing him he didn't need a tour guide to complete the 3km walk to the waterfall.

It’s an old story: sinister natives who worship giant flesh eating lizards intentionally misdirect unsuspecting white tourist into the dark recesses of the jungle leading to the maws of their scaly, fork tongued gods.


In related news, thousands of miles away in West Dundee , Illinois, a woman who got some back for humans by stabbing two lizards in the neck was sentenced to pick up road kill.

UPDATE: Were the giant lizards that attacked Hayden Adcock living fossils?

UPDATE: Laos isn't funny.