Where is the economy headed?
I predict the United States economy is poised to become more donkey-based (similar to how the economies of Namibia and Pakistan are now). I’m so confident of this I put some of my own coin into the donkey sector today with the purchase of a sturdy one I've named Francis Caballero.
Why donkeys, you ask? For many reasons. Donkeys are versatile, working well in urban and rural settings. They haul, carry, and can be ridden. They are easier to feed than a horse and are more durable. Donkeys are simple to manage - a small wooden club or perhaps a short piece of metal pipe is all you need. Greens take note: donkey waste is biodegradable, and as an added bonus it can be flung at the people who got us into this mess.
UPDATE: I just remembered I have a violent hatred of donkeys. Run, Caballero!
Why donkeys, you ask? For many reasons. Donkeys are versatile, working well in urban and rural settings. They haul, carry, and can be ridden. They are easier to feed than a horse and are more durable. Donkeys are simple to manage - a small wooden club or perhaps a short piece of metal pipe is all you need. Greens take note: donkey waste is biodegradable, and as an added bonus it can be flung at the people who got us into this mess.
UPDATE: I just remembered I have a violent hatred of donkeys. Run, Caballero!
How is one to keep track of his violent hatreds these days?
ReplyDeleteAlpacas!
ReplyDeletehttp://online.wsj.com/article/SB122298871817500225.html
(...)
Peggy Parks, a 49-year-old auditor in Johnstown, Pa., turned to an unusual farm animal. "I've lost a fortune in stocks, and my 401(k) is falling through the floor. I feel comfortable in alpacas," she says. She invested $56,000 in a small herd that she believes has a better outlook than most mutual funds because of the animals' breeding potential.
The national Alpaca Registry Inc., in Lincoln, Neb., says registrations are on pace to rise 7% this year and currently stand at 140,297. Ms. Parks says a female of "medium quality" can fetch $10,000 and that prices have been rising, supporting her hopes that she'll see a profit on her alpaca portfolio in five years.
(...)
It's not easy, Dennis. My hatred of donkeys goes back to my childhood, but sometimes my new violent hatreds make me forget my old violent hatreds.
ReplyDeleteAnon: The alpaca bubble, which stems from favorable tax treatment, is the next to pop.
Maybe you have a future in mules. Yea, I like the way that sounds: a future in mules. A whole market of mules, maybe. Buy mules! They are such lonely creatures. Though each lonely mule can have no future, being neither donkey nor horse but only a dead end species, not a species at all, properly--therefore! you must take care of these mules. This will solve your emotional problem with donkeys, surely.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have invested our considerable fortune in a stock of semi-domesticated caribou. We intend to milk them and sell into the Chinese market.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Reindeer_milking.jpg
Interesting idea, Lloyd. Sordid fact: I once bet on a mule race. Individual mules do have a future through cloning.
ReplyDeleteReindeer, Mr. Wild? Are you planning on moving to outer Mongolia too?
I think reindeer are more likely to be found in Finland. Isn't Mongolia full of desert?
ReplyDeleteThe Mongolian "reindeer people" came to mind because they sometimes ride on reindeer's backs the way people in the United States will soon be riding mules and donkeys, whereas (and correct me if I'm wrong) in Finland reindeer only pull sleighs.
ReplyDelete