Departure: Lome, Togo

Another week, another tragic death. I leave tomorrow for the 'colorful' African nation of Togo ('colorful' being white-liberal speak for 'voodoo infested') to attend the funeral of President Gnassingbe Eyadema (he was so good at his job the Togolese kept him as President without interuption for the past 38 years). I was introduced to 'Gnassy' by our mutual friend the noted political philosopher Col. M. Gadhafi (Gnassy was a Colonel once too).

Gnassy was always playing practical jokes. I still laugh thinking of the time he placed a hunchback’s hump in a box, had it gift wrapped, then mailed it to the pompous Kofi Annan (imagine the look on Kofi’s face upon opening it). It turns out this joke is a Togolese classic, though why Togo, an otherwise poor country, has such a surplus of hunchy humps is beyond me. Gnassy was also quite the ladies man, he had three wives and perhaps as many as 100 delightful children (give or take a few dozen), one of whom, a son Faure Gnassingbe, is running things now. I look forward to meeting him. I plan on having a good time during my stay, "when in Lome" as the saying goes...

Gnassy with Col. M. Gadhafi.
Gnassy meeting with a high ranking Chinese Communist. Notice the sunglasses, worn to conceal his 'voodoo stare'.

Gnassy unleashing his devastating 'voodoo stare', probably in order to hypnotize a young lady into sleeping with him.


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