Brokeback Revisited

Can you guess the author of the following ‘hate speech’?:
“I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears….I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot.”
No, not me. It was Larry David, writing a brief review in the New York Times of a movie he hasn't seen.

Imagine the reaction if those same words were written by Mel Gibson, for example, in another newspaper. The New York Times would probably publish an editorial condemning him as a ‘homophobe’ and demand he be re-educated via diversity training. It’s a double standard, but we should be happy that someone got to say it.

Another double standard brought to mind by David’s essay: why is it acceptable to have straight actors play homosexualists? Would Hollywood make a film about interracial love with both lovers played by white actors? Guess who's coming to dinner: it's Paul Newman, and he's wearing blackface! Actually, now that I think about it that would be really entertaining.

I wonder what Times columnist Frank Rich thinks of his newspaper publishing Larry David’s essay? When Brokeback was released, an excited Rich scribbled:
“The culture is seeking out this movie not just because it is a powerful, four-hankie account of a doomed love affair…

The truth is that the millions of moviegoers soon to swoon over the star-crossed gay cowboys of "Brokeback Mountain" can probably put up with the sight of "two guys going at it."
For the record, Rich is happily married man. Just because a former drama critic “swoons” over "two guys going at it”, and praises a movie for being a “four-hankie account of a doomed love affair” doesn’t mean anything, and anyone who thinks so is a terrible person. That way he holds his mouth is a coincidence too, so please, don’t even mention it.


  1. Larry David's description of what would be required to get him to watch Brokeback Mountain reminds me of the scene in A Clockwork Orange where Alex is strapped to a seat with his eyelids mechanically held open and forced to watch violent imagery until he is made physically ill.

  2. If they do I a remake of Clockwork instead of violent imagery they will force Alex to watch blogs on TV. Ha! See what I just did? That's called a reachback.

  3. Brilliant!

    To reference another Kubrick film, as long as you don't attempt a reach-around.
    I have no idea what you call that.

  4. Larry David is just trying to be funny in his opening paragraph here, but it's easy to misunderstand what he's getting at and get offended. So he spends the rest of the essay bending over backwards trying to convince us that he's not only not anti-gay, he's actually potentially gay himself. Of course that's not really effective, but hillarity ensues.

  5. "Another double standard brought to mind by David’s essay: why is it acceptable to have straight actors play homosexualists? "

    Because that's the point -- it's much more tittilating to gays to imagine Real Men going gay.

  6. I hadn't thought of that. They should've cast Charles Nelson Rielly and Burt Renyolds (I don't know if Burt is gay, but his moustache is definitely bi-curious).

  7. If they wanted me to see it.

  8. Steve has me thinking: why is it not only okay but lauded as high heroism for a straight actor to play a gay character, yet an acor who isn't from a particular minority group playing same is considered heresy?

  9. If we're remaking Look Who's Coming to Dinner, let's have David Hyde Pierce in blackface, Gary Busey in drag as the girlfriend, and a chest of drawers and a rusty anchor as the conflicted parents.

    Of course, this being the 21st century, the gal (Busey) will need a wacky gay friend as a confidante giving her romantic advice. I nominate Dakota Fanning for the rôle.


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